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The princess, the vampire and the werewolf

posted May 8, 2019, 7:05 PM by Suchandra Chatterjee   [ updated May 8, 2019, 7:16 PM ]

The misery of my adult life can be summed into one word. Or Maybe two.


Kristen Stewart.


So I see this girl: running around in the woods and hanging out with slightly fucked up neighbors in Safety of Objects and she seems super cool. Like either ‘I have a crush on her’ and/or ‘I want to be her’ cool.


Then all of a sudden, I am a bloody adult, and after Titanic (which is a disaster as far as solely rom-com aspect is concerned - unless you’ve already read my alternate non-fan conspiracy theory about it. Read it it’s fucking stupid:  a cross between the creations of M. Night Shyamalan and Christopher Nolan: Oh right! I haven't written it yet. But, in brief, Rose has wonderful imagination skills and Jack doesn’t exist! ).

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes! After Titanic, probably the first Hollywood movie that created a lot of hullabaloo in tier two cities of India was released. Lo and behold: it was Twilight. FML!

I mean, Just, imagine my situation here for a second. I saw my one-time crush/ idol pining after two incredibly dumb guys and trying to choose between them or something. Hello!  Ever heard the word NOTA?

At least the werewolf was cuter but no! She went ahead and chose the vitamin D deficient vampire with a hell lot of baggage instead.   

I got the drift, I just needed to choose. Between a vampire and a werewolf.

And since I was way more grown up than an average American high schooler (I was 19-ish and already looking at admission for post-grad in B-schools by  then: match THAT, you stupid American teenagers).

But I digress, again!

All I was thinking then, was: I had to look and act normal, according to the norm.

And the label I personally chose was ‘shy, sometimes childish, book loving, virgin teenager with… drumrolls, a darker side’. I mean seriously? Hadn’t I already watched 10 things I hate about you like 10 times? Julia Styles’ character was so much cooler!


Anyway, she finally broke out of her ‘disastrous waste of raw talent in the name of lead role’ cycle. And I couldn’t be gladder. But damn, she chooses to come out in 2017- two years AFTER my wedding!

So, to answer your haunting: ‘Or is it just me?’ question in personal shopper; No! No Babe, it’s never JUST you!

Your choices in life, is never just yours, no matter whether you are a celebrity or a butterfly.

 

 


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